PORTLAND WEDDINGS

How to Choose a Portland Wedding Officiant

Couples and their families look to officiants for guidance on much than just ceremony content. During the planning and execution of a wedding, we're often required to play multiple roles. Those might include include etiquette consultant, time-manager, family therapist and circus ringleader. When choosing a Portland wedding officiant, you might be surprised and some of the elements you'll have to consider.

Producing a wedding isn't much different than producing a movie or a stage play. There's a cast and a crew, a budget, a timeline and a script. There are props, costumes and a set. And don't forget the stars of the show and their devoted fans.

In this article, you'll learn how to choose a Portland wedding officiant

. The officiant's role in working with the couple and their families.
. Techniques for helping events flow smoothly on the day of the wedding.
. Resources and ideas for ceremonies, rituals and presentations.
. Setting boundaries with difficult family members
. Criteria for inclusion of religious symbols, rituals, etc.

The Initial Portland Wedding Consultation

What can you expect when meeting the officiant for the first time?

In my initial consultations, I spend most of the time listening. I want to learn about your ideas for the ceremony, your family structure, and your spiritual outlook. I listen for clues about your relationship so I can help you to choose the right words and most meaningful ceremony elements.

During the consultation I will show you sample ceremonies and an array of alternatives, and we'll review them line-by-line. I also advise you about planning and logistics. This includes the process of filing the paperwork, including issues that may come up with name changes, immigration, health insurance policies, etc.

What Should an Officiant Look Like?
How to Address Your Wedding Officiant

Stand up for Your Ideals When Your Family Tries to Take Control

Bill and Lila lived in England, but had their wedding in Oregon where Lila's parents lived. The parents paid for everything, including flying the couple and their friends over from England. We worked together by email and came up with a beautiful ceremony that expressed the couple's non-religious views. They arrived in Oregon one week before the wedding, and three days before, Lila called me with bad news... Lila's mother insisted that the couple get married by the pastor of her church. She threatened to pull the plug on the whole thing if the couple didn’t comply. She'd been planning this bait-and-switch the entire time! READ MORE

What Would You Have Done?

Lila and Bill were in their early 30s, and old enough to make their own decisions. But because mom was footing the bill, they gave up their autonomy. I tell couples when this happens that if they don’t take this powerful opportunity to establish independence from their parents, they’ve missed the chance of a lifetime. If a wedding can't launch a couple into adulthood, then what can? If a couple caves in to the kinds of demands that Lila's mother made, it will be harder to stand up and be heard when future issues come up, such moving to a new city, buying a house or having children.

Speaking of Religion

I am a non-religious, ordained interfaith minister, and am happy to include elements from any religion or culture you choose. But I draw the line at religious dogma. If you want to invoke a god, spirit or energy, my only requirement is that it truly comes from your heart and not from habit, obligation or fear-based toxic doctrines. Learn more about religious issues HERE.